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the very last thing

Mon, 13 May 2013 02:10:57 -0400

i thought everything was fine, really fine until some douche got in the way. she just got out of her relationship and yet shes about to go through another one. i thought time was something i have to build up; giving her time to recover, perhaps more than a couple of months… apparently that didnt happen. right when this happened, things were not the same anymore. i really wanted a chance, just goddamn one chance. without this, i wouldve gone in a different path for my career, it will be a difficult road from then on. the one last thing that i have to do, is to say farewell to her. it was great, i enjoyed every second with her and it was great while it last. my state of mind is at its wreck and finals are coming up so what a bad time to go through this yeah? but anyway, she really does mean a lot to me, more than ever. it just hard to not follow the footsteps as i went through a long time ago, thats why im doing this and erase the image on the passenger seat. looking back from the moment it started, i never regret any single moment. those effort and time was worth something, even if the slightest bit, you basically restoring of whats part of me. we were never together but it was a great run. i wish you realized that. i dont see the point of hanging out for one whole day anymore. whatever the explanation that i didnt wanna say is i wanted to show you how you really mean to me.

One last time

Fri, 10 May 2013 07:37:30 -0400

I thought it was alright, really. From the day eveything started to come back, the day I come to another dead end. It hurts to see someone that means a lot to you, with someone else. I guess I’ll give it another will, another try till the end before I say goodbye. You know I have feelings, putting the time and effort for you yet I’ve done nothing but to forgive and understand while you go do something with your friends. Idk anymore, I’ve been through this and I’m not making the same steps as before, you don’t even care do you?

everything is starting to turn into a reality, i wish i was more prepared for this

Sun, 05 May 2013 12:55:43 -0400

everything is starting to turn into a reality, i wish i was more prepared for this

might as well write this

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 02:31:23 -0400

the day has finally come, to where an opportunity is starting to build up. it was so unexpected that it came really fast but i have to play it right. although, there isnt much competition going on but i still have to try, just to show her how much she means to me. ive been taking advices here and there to find my point and i thank my best friends to lend me a hand with this. i feel such a noob at this, its like everything fell apart and i mixed up with my thoughts. slowly trying to gain it back and keeping myself sane. idk what to think(right now because i have an exam to study for LOL) but i hope i get this.

changes from the last 4 years

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 03:03:48 -0400

i honestly thought that i would never changed from what i was four years ago and now. even had that state of mind that i wouldnt be able to, but hanging out from the same people now, made a huge spark that i definitely did. physically but mentally as well. history repeat itself with the same girl that approached to my life 5 years ago and now came back, knowing that i was completely over her after a two year gap in between the lines, all of a sudden that everything i put effort into, for someone who means so much to me; those feelings came back. looking how i tried to get her attention, every little flaw became a mistake so now, doing the best i can to turn the way i want it to be, as real person that i am to her. following the footsteps from before and tracing the curvy lines that meant nothing but bullshit, has finally made it to realized that ive been playing the cards wrong. learning from the mistakes and taking it as a lesson not to repeat was the best thing, but chances are still slim. taking every information from back then, somehow made everything easier to understand, even from the events/challenges were put to the past, ive made them as a story to look back and highlighting every bit of information that i can absorb because i know one day, itll be useful. i have no idea why im doing this but im giving the best i can, to make her realized how she means the whole world to me. i make every bit of time count when i try to make time for her and i wouldnt miss it the whole world to see her. my main goal is to make her realize that, not to get with her. would be a dream but its time to turn it as a reality. i dont know what the outcome will be after that, whether die trying and get rejected or having that wonderful chance. either way, both are acceptable(not the rejection) but i can live with it that i really tried. theres no way in hell that i can let a girl that one in a billion girls that i think she is absolutely amazing from inside and out, pass by.

whether to open a new chapter

Tue, 19 Mar 2013 02:07:47 -0400

never thought ill realized that ive been going on the same chapter over and over for the longest time, like taking the longest break while reading. i keep telling myself go with the flow or plan a goal to reach it. honestly, its like writing a story from day one as i first met her. as i write down all the memories i had when she was still around, no matter what, i couldnt find the right words to describe her. i wanna give it another shot, however, its not the right time or confess my feelings. all i want is to make her realized how she means to me; confessing doesnt help either, it never work in the past but she knew i liked her. that was from the point why my friend told me. in some situations, theres different ways to make a girl realized what was out there in the beginning(i could be wrong) but as much as i hate this quote badly, there are diamond dozen out there. looking back five years, i couldnt replace the girl that im head over heels for. i never had the same feeling how this girl can make me go insane but also never had a chance to show what i am. of course i have a friend that knows to do with situations but it seems like it doesnt occur with mine at all. this one means a lot but at the same time, im in a fracture condition to where i can just let of everything. i dont wanna scare a girl that is one in a billion out in this world. what words to describe her isnt a firm answer(s) in my book, so i wanna make it meaningful to make her realized that i wanna be more than friends and willing to make a change from my mistakes. when theres a day where we both have a day to enjoy each others company, maybe then ill have something

i know youll be in a slump for awhile

Wed, 13 Mar 2013 02:37:11 -0400

but youll know im always there during anytime you need a person or without.. i just wish it was a better environment to make a move than playing the waiting game

the chances are impossible

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 03:35:30 -0400

but i know i can do this. just need to play it right

Enjoyable night

Fri, 22 Feb 2013 14:30:58 -0500

Amazingly I saw atb for the first time and his music was the shit. I just wished people made better planning to meet up.

Everything has changed so much to this point where, what am i doing that is repeating history five...

Wed, 20 Feb 2013 00:39:08 -0500

Everything has changed so much to this point where, what am i doing that is repeating history five years ago? Yet again, I find myself going for the impossible girl and putting all this effort, just to get her attention. I’m not trying to repeat everything 100%, I’m trying to be a grown person that is looking what someone out there. Few say I’m young to relax more but in all honestly, I enjoyed my single life and seeing the frustrating in myself for not understanding the grid more thoroughly. I really had some great pointers/ advice that will help. what really comes down to is how can i really get the fear out, calm, content, show myself out there more. I known this person for quite awhile now, she is really the most amazing girl that I’ve met. She is different than the other girls I’ve met in the past. Simple, fun personality, adorable to the every second. It wasn’t my choice for my feelings to grow out so much for this one; I thought I was seriously over her for two years ago. I seriously thought we were just gonna be friends until i realized that my feelings was growing, however, at the same time, I’m trying not to let everything out. Out of all the times that we hanged out, I always appreciate her company around, it made my days better. It pulled me in, Am I really gonna reel in this amazing fish in and find a way of not letting it escape?

My buddy asked me, why do I like her? it’s been a few weeks that I thought about it and I just like her for who she is, fun personality, laid back, understanding, and her uniqueness to others. I know its not much but I trust her to tell her everything from one point to another. Unfortunately, I haven’t told her everything because I know that certain information will make things heavier than it already was so It’s better to wait it off(hoping it turn out to be last minute). I guess now is the time to see if she’ll put the effort to hang out. I’ve done so much for her and yet she still doesn’t get the message that I’m trying to send out for while or maybe I have weak signal.

if you realized it

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 02:51:52 -0500

you hurt me badly, just by saying you have to cancel our plans to hangout. i was looking forward to it and fixing your car. i did not expect for you to do that, not from a wonderful person like you. a buddie told me i should give the cold shoulder. for one thing, i cant do it, because i know you have an explanation and you mean something to me than those that are heartless. youll probably know that i’m super pissed or you had a feeling, either way, i wasnt.. im just disappointed that you agreed then suddenly bailed for whatever reason. my friends had the same thing and best way to give the cold shoulder. i never agreed to do that to you, to others, yes because theyre not much to me, once they fuck up. i hope youll realized this that you would do such a thing and i was close enough to not forgive you. its obvious that you dont wanna talk or whatever the cases may be but if you told me straight up, i wouldve been fine. right now, i dont know what to do because it was all hell was broken loose and i wanted to punch something to release the emotions.

i often wonder if there is a cure to miss someone - there is - its to see someone that you love what...

Sun, 20 Jan 2013 03:37:41 -0500

i often wonder if there is a cure to miss someone

- there is

- its to see someone that you love

what if you cant?

in time, the pain fades, leaving behind happy memories

- Inspector Wing, New Police Story

Why does it hurt so much

Fri, 18 Jan 2013 19:04:25 -0500

Who is it calling out to? I never felt this way before, my heart is just calling out so much for the past few days

idk

Tue, 15 Jan 2013 00:07:00 -0500

havent been posting anything in awhile so just wanna say happy late 2013 to every tumblr user out there. ill start off as a refreshing start of the year but no new years resolution, never fullfilled that anyway. im still struggling on what i want, i thought i did, as a hvac service tech but hearing what my service director said to me. it makes more sense to enjoy what i wanted to do in the first place, than listening what your parents want you to do. as people say im still young to figure out but at the same time, i grow up too fast than the others now. im at a job where i can make money and treat your job as a career, whatever it was, i wasnt planning to be this far. i never had any open opportunities for the past three years and now i do because im far away from everyone. thats how i feel. i miss hanging out with my best friends, always talking about the randomest shit and going out to places but now i realized the close friend i always had since 7th grade, turned out to be the biggest bitch ever. yes, in my view that his punk ass always giving me lecture and putting me on the stool like some kind of kid that already knew what to do but have to listen twice. i do see that person’s personalities changes with people that he wouldnt mind to hang out but whenever im around, he acts like hes in charge of everything. bro, just the shut the fuck up for once and give me something better than having a bunch of shit that’ll back your words up. this isnt english or a lecture hall where i have to put up with your bitching. i dont fucking care that youre right, you always make it seem like im always making the wrong decision and not having priorities from your view. you know, im learning the best that i could do, to apply it for the future. im trying to be content by your damn words before i flare up and knock your lights out for being a smartass. i wouldnt do it because it wasnt worth it but now i think ill take some considerations if you dont understand that im not human. some understand and some dont, get it right. dont expect me to follow up your crap.

sometimes, i wonder if you ever notice how you appreciate others most than people that are just there? i did the best i can to be a friend out there. sorry for not being around but i have ‘priorities’ for myself. i tried to settle things with manager to go to vegas in march and yet you just continue to pressuring me to keep convincing him when i have no other way. not just that but whenever theres a hangout, you dont even bother to call to see whether i can make it. you always pissed me off from the past but i never brought it up because youre a friend, a close friend. you just need some adjust for your negative crap

finals

Tue, 04 Dec 2012 22:40:51 -0500

good luck for the college students for their last week. make it rain!

got shit at work now

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 22:49:39 -0500

im working my way up to be successful, not dealing with assholes that wanna bring me down for horseplaying. from my understanding, you didnt bother to be a real person and tell me straight up that its wrong. but instead, it was reported to the HR department. i got people to back me up including the gsm, and all i need is the GM to understand and tables are gonna fucking turn. just watch it asshole, sleep with your eyes open when i found out its you.

whatever

Sat, 03 Nov 2012 01:53:37 -0400

i wish i knew how much you turned into a faggot when you dont think i ‘pushed’ as being a friend to your point of view.

one day without any bitchin' going on

Fri, 02 Nov 2012 02:40:50 -0400

you want me to go to school and you want me to get a job and yet youre no good at time. time is everything. you always think i have no life but i do so live with it or i have to tell you straight up that you need a chill pill

I'll be honest

Wed, 17 Oct 2012 23:08:05 -0400

There are some who are better than me. I can’t seem to grab a girls attention better than other guys, which I’ll admit to. It’s the matter of feeling the rejection and thinking about what to say and in the end, is only the same thing. Giving up or letting go. i’m only absorbing the information and experience since my last true relationship till now.

a month ago

Mon, 15 Oct 2012 01:18:58 -0400

its either vegas or formula d round 7 during this weekend.. i choose vegas and had no ride so decided to go to formula d.. sold out tickets. theres always next year